Your Story Is Not Written In Stone

posted in: Uncategorized | 26

We all have stories woven tightly around our lives. Some are handed down from parents or passed sideways from random encounters. Others come from experiences we have or assumptions we make. These stories may hold us back, or they may launch us into our wildest dreams. The difference is conscious choice: you can live your life treading through day to day, or you can live your life as a Choose Your Own Adventure Book.

Sometime in the last three years, I chose the latter. I realized that nothing was going to change my frustrations, my insecurities, or my boredom…except me. For most of my life, I had wrapped myself in a story of laziness. I wore it like a hall pass, designed to get out of the hard work of doing something with my life. You might even say I reveled in it.

Eventually though, my desire for change became so great I was forced to act. I began to study everything I could get my hands on regarding discipline, motivation, and personal reinvention. This led me to the key I was seeking. In his fabulous book, Die Empty, Todd Henry offers this mind bending piece of wisdom: “Comfort is the enemy of greatness.”

It shocked me awake. Let me clarify – he is not referring to your cozy sweater or your ergonomic chair. He’s talking about the detrimental effect of giving in to your immediate desire to roll over in bed for another hour or to skip your workout because you’re “not in the mood”.

I realized that what I had always referred to as laziness was actually nothing more than scrambled priorities. I had allowed my immediate desire for the easy thing to override my long-term desire to have an impact on the world around me. I stopped hitting the snooze button on my life. I started working out. I engaged in the practice of starting over as many times as it takes. In short, I began to make conscious choices about what to do with my time.

I decided to re-write my story, and I set about doing so. The editing process is not finished. I hope it never is! There is richness and beauty and growth within it that sustain me through the struggle.

I sometimes re-write my story daily. You can do it, too. What tales wind their way through your mind, undermining your dreams? The only way to untangle them is to decide to. Then pick up the machete (or put the bush hog in gear) and start clearing the debris.

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26 Responses

  1. Lisa Taunton
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    I sometimes feel like I can’t change my story, but then I realize I did when I moved 2200 miles across the country. Great post and awesome photo!

  2. jenny
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    wow! thank you for sharing!
    jenny recently posted…day 3- a belief…My Profile

  3. Roberta
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    Rewriting the story is my passion. It truly is the magic we all hold within us. Great read, I can’t wait to hear more.

  4. Kim Forman
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    Thanks, Roberta! Self-editing is a beautiful thing.

  5. Kim Forman
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    I’m so glad it moved you, Jenny!

  6. Vickie Doswell
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    It is amazing how it is like a light being turned on in a dark space when we finally wake up to the fact that all we hold true and sacred is not. It takes strong character to change!

  7. Kim Forman
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    Lisa: It is always in your power to change your story. Our outer circumstances may or may not not be changeable, but how we approach them is always within our grasp.

  8. Rachel Murphy
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    This gives me so much hope! Thank you, I shall go on re-writing!

  9. Kim Forman
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    Sally forth into your new story! ❤

  10. Kim Forman
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    Isn’t it a truly awe inspiring experience? It does take strength, a strength I believe we all possess. The question is whether we will find the courage to unearth it. Yay for digging in the dirt!

  11. Mary
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    This is such a great story Kim. I have to chuckle because almost every morning there is a moment between when I start to get up and when I actually do when I question to make the bed or not? Making it wins every morning for quite some time. It’s a small choice, but one that starts my day off good for me. For years I didn’t make our bed and it was fine then but now, it’s a thing that makes me feel in order. The truth is that our days are made up of a series of small choices every single day! Looking forward to more of your posts.

  12. Kim Forman
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    Our days are full of moments like that, aren’t they? This morning, I struggled with whether or not to douse myself in cold water before stepping out of the shower. I know it gives me more energy. I know it’s good for my well-being. But ack! It’s so intense! The struggle was brief. I reached to turn off the hot water. I danced and howled. I stepped out of the tub with my whole body singing.

    Thank you for sharing your battle with the bed covers. Sometimes it’s the little things that make all the difference!

  13. Ginette
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    OMG! I love this! I love your picture too! All so powerful! “Comfort is the enemy of greatness.” YES, of course! That makes plenty of sense. Thanks for sharing this, Kim. And thank you for reminding me/us that our story is never set in stone. It can be re-written and the editing process is never over, till it’s over 🙂

  14. Rachel
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    great advise, I couldn’t agree with you more .

  15. Cynthia Lee
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    i love every word of this and am going to bookmark to come back to it to read again … … there are more words I want to say but i’ve written things three times and deleted so I will just let this be for now …

  16. gemma
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    Good stuff!

  17. Judith
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    Congratulations! You are writing your life your way. I have been dogged, determined, driven, an over achiever and pleaser most of my life, creating my value by what I could accomplish. These days, I’m finding that giving into self comfort is very satisfying—and well deserved (she responds from beneath her fluffy blanket) 😉

  18. Lynne Mizera
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    Thank you for this… it is so empowering to me to read the words of others and discover the same struggles that I thought were mine alone! And (like Mary in her comment above) after 50 plus years on this earth, last year I mae a commitment to myself to make my bed every morning… such a small thing really but what a HUGE impact on my life! (I think I will blog all about this today… grin) Yes… I sounds so obvious when someone else says it but Life REALLY IS about our choices! Great Post today Sweetie!!

  19. Effy
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    “Comfort is the enemy of greatness.”

    Damn, that just blew the top of my head off. Thank you!

  20. Kim Forman
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    Effy: Right? I collect quotes (okay, let’s be real – I hoard quotes), but this one…this one has become my mantra. It’s life altering. I’m thrilled to share it with you!

  21. Kim Forman
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    Oh, yay! I look forward to reading your post about it, Lynne!

  22. Kim Forman
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    Oh, what a beautiful lesson that is! I’m going to add it to my list of things to either blog about or use as a topic on my September-long daily fb live videos. Thank you!

  23. Kim Forman
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    Thanks, Gemma!

  24. Kim Forman
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    Oh, Cynthia…I’m tearing up over here. That my message reached out to you in this monumentally difficult time in your life…I…just…there are no words for how much that means to me.

    Sending you heaps of love. My heart is with you.

  25. Kim Forman
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    Thanks, Rachel!

  26. Kim Forman
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    Aw! Thanks, Ginette! That photo is one of my favorites. It says everything about laughing in the face of fear and self-doubt and running headlong through it.

    Yes! The quote really is ridiculously obvious, once you’ve read it. 😂 I’m seriously considering making it a tattoo.

    I’m happy it spoke to you, as well!

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